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Rolling Stone has a new “500 Best Songs” for you to get mad at

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An issue of Rolling Stone on an ancient storage device earlier societies referred to as “magazine racks.”

An issue of Rolling Stone on an ancient storage device earlier societies referred to as “magazine racks.”
Photo: Justin Sullivan (Getty Images)

In acknowledgement of the fact that someone needs to give the internet its weekly bucket of low-stakes material to get all worked up over, Rolling Stone has decided to redo its list of the “500 Best Songs Of All Time.” The updated version arrived today and, even without opening it, we’re pretty sure you think it’s completely wrong and that everyone involved with making it ought to be fired.

Starting with Kanye West’s “Stronger,” a placement that’s bound to send someone off to Twitter completely fuming with indignation, the list moves on to include tracks like Miles Davis’ “So What” at 492, Prince’s “1999″ at 339, Neil Young’s “Heart Of Gold” at 259, Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy” at 178, Grandmaster Flash And The Furious Five’s “The Message” at 59, and on and on.

The real meat meant to chum the online waters, though, is the top 10 “Best Songs Of All Time.” This part of the list runs through Outkast’s “Hey Ya!” and Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” at 10 and 9, respectively, then on down through Missy Elliot’s “Get Ur Freak On,” The Beatles’ “Strawberry Fields Forever,” Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On,” Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Bob Dylan’s “Like A Rolling Stone,” Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come,” and Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power.” The final entry—the inarguable best song ever recorded—is Aretha Franklin’s “Respect.”

The comments section is already off to a good start, readers letting the publication know that its subjective effort to highlight 500 culturally worthwhile songs is “perhaps the most out of touch list ever published by Rolling Stone.” (That comment’s author: “WhatASadList.”) Someone else is upset that the numbering means Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” is now eternally “better” than “House Of The Rising Sun.” Another person complains about The Beatles. Someone else sums up every reply to come by responding to a complaint with “Not enough boomer rock or too much?”

Expect this discourse to continue for at least the rest of the day before vanishing forever into the digital ether. If you’d like to get in on the action before then, check out the entire list over here.

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